My name is Bill Dexhart, and I would first like to make one thing clear: I have no plans to resign. I pride myself on being available to the public, and taking the hands-on approach to get things done. I am a member of many important committees, working to better the community with single mothers, nurses, waitresses, yoga instructors... the list continues.
When I was voted in to City Council, I took a personal oath (that I wrote myself) in which I pledged that I would not leave office until each individual citizen of Pawnee is satisfied. So, you tell me, are you satisfied? If you know what I am referring to, call me anytime, stop by my office or we can meet at one of the multiple locations provided on my outgoing voicemail. Or bathrooms in any of our public parks, recreational facilities or local businesses. Again, I have no plans to resign.
Jeremy Jamm, D.D.S. is a staple in the community and has provided Pawnee with a reason to smile since he opened the doors of Jamm Orthodontia in 1999. Orthodontics is sometimes referred to as an elective treatment, but next time you hear someone say that, do yourself a favor and look at the mouth it's coming out of. Disgusting, right? Don't let that mouth happen to you.
As a member of City Council, Dr. Jamm is in it for himself: the "himself" in everyone. He relates. With all the problems facing this town and its citizens, Jeremy Jamm lies in bed every night and sleeps a sound eight hours, just dreaming. And his dreams have come true.
Jamm Orthodontia - 217 Lowell Drive. Mention this bio and get two free replacement headgear rubber bands.
Pawnee runs in my veins. I was born here*. I grew up here. I was educated here. I made friends here. I fell off my bike here and scraped my knee here. I ate my first waffle here (thanks, JJ!) - and will eat my last one here, too. I fell in love here. I work here. I live here. 24 hours a day, I live for Pawnee.
I look around and see all the wonderful things we can still do. We can create more parks - lush, green places for all of us to relax and play and grow. We can make our schools better, our sidewalks safer, and our libraries fewer. We can create more jobs. We can finally repave Grand Avenue. (Can you imagine that? Driving down Grand Ave. without the fear of blowing out a tire?) We can even eliminate our raccoon problem**.
I want to lead this great city into the future. I can see its future as clearly as you read this sentence, right now, in this moment.
I'm Leslie Knope, and I'm running for City Council in Pawnee, Indiana.
*Yes, okay, fine, technically I was born in Eagleton. Nice work, smartypants. The point is, I have lived in Pawnee all my life, and I love it.
**Truth be told, we probably cannot ever eliminate our raccoon problem. I know I'm supposed to just make that campaign promise, like every politician does, but let's be honest - those suckers aren't going anywhere.
I am Fielding Milton. I fought and defeated the Japanese in World War II. Since being elected to City Council in 1948, as part of the Dixiecrat Party, I've always had the Pawnee citizens' best interests in mind. Of course, in my time, the only people recognized as Pawnee citizens were white males over the age of 17. Throughout my term, I have done a lot. I founded the committee to lower the minimum age limit of immigrant workers to eight; I am a member of the Committee to Preserve the Pawnee Japanese Interment Camp Museum, and I am also the chairman and only member of the Committee to Re-convert the Pawnee Japanese Internment Camp Museum Back into a Working Internment Camp.
My children, may they rest in peace, have given me three beautiful grandchildren, who have given me eight great-grandchildren. Family is important to me, and our country is important to me; and I hope to bring us back to exactly the way things were when our country was founded, or perhaps earlier.
As a proud City Councilor, I believe in Pawnee.
This is a trying time for all Americans. Let's face it: life is a struggle. Will I have a job at the end of the week? Will I be able to save for my retirement? Will I be able to afford to send my children to college? I am not asking myself these questions... but you might be.
And that's why I believe in doing the right thing for you, the citizens who elected me. I want to bring jobs to Pawnee. I want to ease the high cost of just getting by and living. I want you to be able to send your children to college. Those are just a few of my answers to your questions.
I'm here to work for you. I believe in doing the right thing, Pawnee. After all - Pawnee isn't just my city or your city... it's our city. I'm here for you!*
*Except on Mondays from 12:00-4:00 p.m. and all day Wednesdays when I perform magic around town for schools, hospitals, senior centers and the like. But feel free to contact my assistant, Chelsea, who can help you out anytime!**
**Except on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 3:00-6:00 p.m. when she's in class to get her notary license.