Volume 5, No. 1

October 10, 2013


by Leslie Knope


October is National Book Month, and that means big BIG things in Pawnee! This year you have the choice of two city events to celebrate it:

One is so much better and it’s brought to you by your very own Parks Department. We will have a book exchange and readings by local authors… as well as a special lecture from Whitney Plarrsporft, the 6-year-old who is changing the way we think about picture books. Every book in her series about the hijinks of Sally The Crab is a gem.

In another part of town, in a place some affectionately call “the 7th circle of hell,” you can read books quietly in the library. Gross old used books other people have probably read while on the toilet. Yeah, that’s how people want to celebrate books, Tammy! You suck and you should go back to the hole from where you came. If you don’t know the address for the library, then congratulations… you’re in the majority because no one goes there and no one should!

The choice of which event to attend, my fellow Pawneeans, is obvious.

In closing: Parks rules, and library drools!

And even more closing: read a book (preferably BUY a book) this month and expand your mind!




by Chris Traeger


It’s picking time! It’s fall harvest picking time! It’s my favorite time of the year – tied with spring harvest, solstices, birthdays, whenever the Olympics are happening, and every day! And if you haven’t been to a Pawnee farmer’s market for the latest and greatest in delicious crops, you are missing out, Buster Brown.

Verdict alert: the vegetable of the season is CELERY ROOT. I encourage you all to visit the Stringstrung Family Farms booth for some truly spectacular celery root. Braise it, grill it, mash it, roast it. You cannot go wrong! When it comes to edible roots, celery root is one of the greats!

Well I don’t know about you, but my mouth is watering right now. Time to take a quick 20-mile jog to the actual Stringstrung Farm to pick my very own! Yum!





by Donna Meagle


Last week, someone left three-dozen roses on my desk. And just this morning, there was a gift box waiting for me – filled with deluxe body lotion and white chocolate truffles.

Looks like Meagle’s got herself a secret admirer. Well you have my attention, but you’re gonna have to try much harder. White chocolate is straight up nasty.





I have no information to post this month. People who know me understand that I do not waste others’ time with unnecessary conversation or colloquy unless I have something important to relay. So stop reading this and do something better with your time. Like build something, or sit and think.

Ron Swanson


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