Parks and Recreation

Welcome to Pawnee

News and Notes – updated November 4th, 2010

  • 11 new species of frog have been discovered in the waste runoff pool by the Sweetums factory. Although this sounds fun, local scientists have deemed this “alarming.” Parents, please keep an eye on your children if you live within a 2-mile radius of the Sweetums campus (or as the scientists are calling it, the “Water-Borne Disease Event Horizon”).
  • Reminder: You must have a permit to set up a lemonade stand in the park, Kimberly Hollette, age 8.

News and Notes – updated October 28th, 2010

  • Parks Department Deputy Director Leslie Knope cordially invites costumed youngsters to visit her home on Halloween Night. All will be given king-size candy bars (because mini-size candy is for jokers) AND cool toothbrushes (because Leslie knows the scourge of cavities!) See you there!
  • Attention all shutterbugs – focus on this! The annual Pawnee Compare and Contrast Photography Festival has been canceled.

News and Notes – updated October 7th, 2010

  • There’s nothing to see behind the padlocked metal door at the Ramsett Park maintenance shed. Even if you could open it, you’d find nothing valuable in there, so there’s no point in even trying. Just please pretend the door is a wall and ignore it. Fine, there’s some valuable tools in there, but don’t take them, because they’re brand new and we need them. And there’s also some cash in there, from last month’s swap meet, that hasn’t been transferred to a bank yet. But come on. Please, just, don’t go in there.
  • While I have been typing this, I have gotten word that someone has broken into the Ramsett Park maintenance shed and stolen all the tools and loose cash from the swap meet. So, disregard earlier note.
  • To the troubled youth leaving anonymous voicemails on the Parks Department Hotline – NO, our free dog waste bags cannot be used as prophylactics. They do, however, make great sandwich bags in a pinch.
  • This just in: Pawnee City Council reverses its stance — tennis is once again a sport!

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